Effects of Trauma on Relationships

Trauma is an emotional reaction to a distressing event - or series of events - that causes significant fear, confusion, helplessness, or dissociation. Trauma can change how we act in the world. It can affect our relationships by changing how we relate to ourselves and others.

How Trauma Can Affect Your Relationships

  • Change Your Thought Process: A traumatic event can change the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you. For example, you may have spent your life thinking that others are generally trustworthy. However, if you have been harmed by someone in a traumatic experience, you may think “I can’t trust anyone or let them get close to me.” This, in turn, will affect the way you relate to others.

  • Lead to Avoidance: Experiencing trauma can cause you to avoid any situations or circumstances that remind you of the traumatic event. This can significantly impact your ability to function on a daily basis because it tends to make you believe that the only way to feel safe is by making your world smaller. As a result, you may close yourself off to many fulfilling experiences.

  • Create Anger and Frustration: After a traumatic event, you may also feel less in control of your emotional or behavioral responses and act in ways that others perceive to be out of proportion to the situation at hand. This can cause others to get frustrated or angry at you and reinforce your belief that you will never be understood.

Coping With the Effects of Trauma on Your Relationships

  • Notice Patterns: A first step of coping with trauma is noticing patterns in relationships and the beliefs you may have about yourself, others, and the world around you, such as "I'm unlovable" or "People can't be trusted."

  • Build Self-Awareness: Become aware of your body and mind’s responses to situations/stimuli by taking the time to describe specific thoughts, identify and label your emotions, and notice your impulses and responses.

  • Seek Professional Help and Support: Attend therapy with a therapist trained in a trauma-informed treatment approach. There are trained therapists out there who know what you are experiencing and how to help. If you are struggling with the effects of trauma, contact Colorway Wellness today!

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What Is Enmeshment Trauma?

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