What Is Enmeshment Trauma?

When you think of childhood emotional trauma, you might think of neglect, but being “too” close can lead to enmeshment trauma. Enmeshment is when clear roles and boundaries are lacking within the family unit. Those in enmeshed families typically have low levels of differentiation, which is the process of defining one’s self outside of their family of origin. For example, a child may be emotionally “parentified,” which can mean the child takes on caring for the parent’s emotional needs. Some signs you might see in yourself or others dealing with enmeshment include:

• Parents being excessively involved in their children’s lives to the point of not allowing them to develop on their own

• Low levels of privacy between parents and children, either physically or emotionally

• Parents presuming that their children will be the ones to give them emotional support

• Children being rewarded for not resisting the enmeshment

Enmeshment trauma can lead to some long-term mental health effects, including being afraid of conflict, experiencing difficultly in relationships, low self-esteem, and a lack of self identity. Part of enmeshment is doing everything one can to keep others happy, and so someone suffering from enmeshment trauma may know how to do all the right things to please other people but have no idea what is actually helpful to them.

The good news is that it is never too late to recover from enmeshment trauma. In fact, while it may sound scary at first, it will ultimately be worth it. It can be a lot to grapple with coming to terms with some unhealthy dynamics you might have grown up with while also trying to change them. You may find working with a therapist helpful so that you don’t have to do this on your own. If you’re ready to heal from enmeshment trauma and learn how to set healthy boundaries, contact Colorway Wellness today!